Being in Beyond
For weeks in 2008 I/we deliberated about what we wanted to do with what had emerged and was developing in our J & J lives during the natural world years that began with the spring equinox in 2007 and continued on with the new spring equinox in 2008. Did we want to write another book about “Beyond,” add another section to the manuscript we had already written … what was best to do, in highest good, all-things-considered terms? The consensus I/we finally came to was to add a short third section to what we had already written, delaying some—but not all—of our “playtime” for a while. (And then the question arose during the process—what is play basically?)
Now it well could be that I/we will write more later about our current natural world year that began March 20, 2008—of Being in Beyond as a multidimensional composite Being … but for the present, some highlights and bottom lines through August 2nd in 2008 will suffice.
During the unfolding seasons, “we” have been positioned as much as possible in what we have energized as a DCIO reality that didn't include any DCBA patterns in our psychic structure and composite body organism. Up to that time we discovered there had been some hybrid designs, where DCBA patterns had been intermixed with DCIO constructions, invisibly interwoven amidst processes that had become automatic—and upon discovery were then removed. It's been amazing to realize how many automatic processes I/we had continued to use, like there have been layers to our being, and by taking care of what was in one of them, another dimension more clearly arose with its contents.
And so it is, with continued Gratitude and Love for our past experiences, we have been able to have even more vivid contrasts of what the differences are between the two realities—DCIO and DCBA.
Our body organism has been the central focus this current natural world year—what it as a composite mental/emotional/imaginative/spiritual/physical entity wants and needs. One of the big messages I heard from it is that it wants to be very well taken care of—where its comfort, welfare, and well-being are a centrality for both Jim and me as an Essential I/ spirit-being. (Some of the time in the past I had overlooked its physical comfort, from the perspective of not having enough time to do so.)
A large foundation for our immersion in a divine Love reality of Individuality and Oneness (DCIO) was an Understanding that our physical organism had been a culturally programmed DCBA body. Hence, with the continual effective removal of BA patterns, it made sense that over time a new physical body would emerge. As I Understood its messages, this is what it had been moving towards, to have these opportunities to find out what it could Be and Do. Full health in all ways was and is our composite central focus, which includes my/our portion of all our relationships.
As an Essential I/spirit-being I found the whole adventure quite fascinating. Indeed it was within uncharted waters, well beyond our previous processes and Life experiences. At first, one day I/we felt a coldness of fear because there were no clear guidelines about how to think or what to do, and then when fully immersed in a reality of divine Love, everything easily shifted at that moment. It became a process of a step at a time that has required a continuous seeking, openness, communication among aspects of our Being, and focus shifts. Much of the time, as a spirit-being I feel thoughts are thinking me, like they come up from deeper dimensions of our Being.
The following are some of the culled highlights and bottom lines from what have emerged so far from “Being in Beyond,” that we think are appropriate for these writings:
“We” became even clearer that we're choosing to no longer energize any patterns containing fear, worry, or concern. Instead, we're fueling divine Trust, Love, Appreciation, Joy/Fun, Ease/Easy, Open and Fresh, all from within a DCIO realty.
During a conversation with Jim one day at lunch about the joining of our Essential I/spirit-being self with our physical body before or at birth, and also talking about the basic human designs for male and female bodies, as Jim explained his ideas and I explained mine, I realized I don't know; I concluded that what each of us was saying are only speculations. I do know I Am in relationship with a mental/emotional/imaginative/spiritual/physical body organism amidst divinity and a natural world environment.
My awareness increased that our body's continued stiffness had been calling for a total reconstruction, where we now have some replacement designs we can use to do so. In a letter I/we wrote to “our” daughter in June we said, “What I'm now Understanding is that when I set into motion that fervent determination to break the circle of sickness I felt I was trapped within after a phone conversation with my father in September 1957 (the month before her birth), I set into motion a huge process. That emphasis evolved over the years to one of full health. And what I'm internally hearing now is that full health goes far beyond our cultural pictures because as cultural members we each have some version of DCBA bodies. So to find out what is really possible it means effectively removing DCBA programming, and allowing one's more basic body to emerge. Hence, I now Understand the continued stiffness … the message is that “we” needed a whole reconstruction!”
Me and my body organism have been using Danny Dreyer's book ChiWalking (one of the books of interest previously) for considerable reprogramming and restructuring—learning to walk from core strength and aligning our mind with our body—setting up the right conditions for chi energy to flow easily. He says that his program draws on principles borrowed from T‘ai Chi, an ancient martial art based on the energetic balance of the body, which is based on the study of Nature and the movement of animals. He talks about learning to move consciously from his center, instead of haphazardly moving with no particular method in mind.
I like the way he writes about one's whole body and being, which says to me that he too is going beyond our Western world limitations. He also talks about a mind-body-spirit connection.
Energizing some Chinese chi concepts as I/we have translated them, our composite body organism is part of and connected to all aspects of the Earth system we inhabitants of it share, as contrasted with our cultural design of being a separate body in a potentially dangerous and hostile world. Moreover, there are many humans globally who believe chi is invisible universal energy that gives us all life, the life force that animates all things … that chi energy flows throughout one's body via a system of meridians, like electric circuits. That is a design construction which I/we too are currently fueling. To repeat what I wrote earlier, about there being something incredibly grand and incomprehensible and beyond our present understanding, what I choose to believe divinity is overall, I/we are energizing these personal chi designs within that vaster framework.
Our physical body is finding it much easier to live in our personalized chi matrix than the one we were originally programmed with in the U.S. culture. Danny describes it as rewiring the nervous system. I/we are including our nervous system—and more.
During the nighttime hours following our decision to elevate this whole process into a daily practice—meaning a regular, mindful activity to enhance our quality of life, helping our body, mind, emotions, and spirit to evolve together and progress—we were multidimensionally fed.
All of that led up to a dream the same night in which I/we were easily and freely walking solo on a southern California beach heading toward San Diego, but without a goal in mind. In other words, the process itself was the goal, and when we had gone far enough we turned around to go back home. In the next dream just before awakening, I/we were making split pea soup, which symbolized another aspect of nourishment—hearty and healthy food. This all combined to say to “us” the following morning that we did indeed have the best framework for now within which to play and explore.
Over time, some results manifested where decades of muscular tension from proving myself, hard work, pulling my own weight in Jim and my relationship, and alertness began to melt, where our body was really fatigued at times. Instead of covering it up or being distressed, I just Loved it for all it's done and its basic wonderfulness, and also “we” took many naps for a while. As an Essential I/spirit-being, I was learning and applying the importance of continuous involvement and communications with all aspects of our body organism.
The following are two books that I/we explored and think are significant while recovering from a right hand/wrist injury in the spring of 2008:
1. Extraordinary Healing, The Amazing Power of Your Body's Secret Healing System by Art Brownstein, M.D. He is saying that the body's natural and normal state is one of health; each body has a natural healing system that works cooperatively with the immune system; and one's body has an inner intelligence/wisdom.
My synthesis interpretation of his picture is that health manifests best within a combined environment of life-style choices: eating healthy foods; exercise and physical activity; full abdominal breathing; good hygiene; appropriate sleep and rest; emotional well-being—knowing how to play, laughter, creativity, Love; spiritual well-being; reduced stress; relaxation; meditation; prayer; and knowing how to use the power of the mind, including the power of beliefs, visualization and imaging techniques.
Brownstein believes our bodies are linked to the world of nature, needing sun, air, water, etc. He also recommends to frequently listen to one's body, learning to communicate with it and cooperate with its intrinsic, integrative healing system. One of his emphases is correcting imbalances in one's energies and one's Life. His perspective is that conventional medicine has neglected to acknowledge the central role that energy plays in the body's growth, development, sustenance, and healing … he says the body is a functional system based on the flow and movement of energies within it.
I/we think there is an inspiring section about real-life healing stories that could be seen as impossible if one uses mainstream medical ways of thinking. (What I'm writing is not intended to be dismissive of current-day conventional medicine, which I see as having a very valuable place in our culture's version of the DCBA reality. At the same time, I see the whole DCBA reality as quite limited because of the fears within it.)
2. The Energy Healing Experiments, Science Reveals Our Natural Power to Heal by Gary Schwartz, PhD. For more than a decade at the University of Arizona, Schwartz had been conducting what I think are well-constructed scientific experiments about various outside-the-mainstream-cultural-box phenomena. In this book he writes about his experiments and experiences with healers and healing energies, where healers have successfully manipulated energy fields of the human body to change and alter unhealthy physical conditions. He says energy becomes the vibrant bridge that connects mind with matter, the spiritual with the physical.
As a reader I/we could contrast the consensus cultural perspective of seeing the world in solid and material ways, with reading the carefully designed experiments where Schwartz shows that our physical bodies and surrounding areas are actually made up of ever-changing energy fields that are interacting with those of others. He believes that what we call “matter” is, in its essence, organized energy … that everything is ultimately energy.
In answer to the question of what's Love got to do with energy healing, Schwartz answers—everything. He writes a concluding perspective that “Love is the common denominator, the core intention, the fundamental state of being that nurtures all healing, growth, and transformation.”
As “we” reflected about the worldview of Eckhart Tolle, the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth, and his ideas about two streams of consciousness taking place in our world of today, it seems to “us” that it's not either/or, but really both for each person. That is, there would be different proportions of each stream—what we collectively have been focusing on in the past and then an “awakened” one—occurring in each individual. In other words, I believe each of us is really in this emerging process together. Now all of this correlates with the dream I had about humanity moving together as a whole. And yes, I believe there is always freedom of choice. Maybe some of the determined individualists in a DCBA sense will choose differently.
It was quite revealing and interesting to take apart the various elements I had put together over the years for my self-image, an image that had been constructed in order to have a viable position and place as a human being with a female body in our culture. At this time, a new image is emerging from the DCIO reality, primarily chosen by our composite body organism.
Hallmarks of the DCBA world are separations, so by removing them a natural integration, harmony, and balance is manifesting.
I Realized that throughout my life on what I've called Stage One there were some emphases that served as strong energy motivations, beginning early-on. One of them was the expectation by my father that since my coming into the world was so difficult for both my parents, it was up to me to continuously prove my value—that all their efforts had been worth it. This formed a basis for hard work and a lot of “doing” over the years.
Another motivator was an early childhood dream of impotence in being able to speak out. This was a large basis for my emphasis upon communication skills and potency. Were these fear-based? Sure, what else? … the context was the U.S. DCBA world from the early 1930s when I-as-a-composite Being was born. Those centralities, which are now dissolved, have also been very valuable as energy vehicles.
The decision I wrote about previously that I made in my early 20s, which I used as an evaluator for decades to choose what to do and not do—that when I got to the end of my life I would have no regrets … well, I believe I have completed my Stage One life, and as I've reviewed it I've been successful in terms of having no regrets. Beyond that, on Stage Two it's now up to me/us to translate and apply what we have learned on Stage One.
Along with emerging and unfolding discoveries, these are patterns I/we purposely energized early-on during our new 2008 natural world year in one immediate and spacious present for our DCIO reality (Stage Two). It's clear to “us” that it's not enough to just remove designs successfully, they need to be thoughtfully replaced:
- We have all the time we need and want now; there is no good reason to hurry.
- We are totally safe.
- We can Be much more easily in the present moment now—with our attention attuned to both our physical senses and inner senses—without so much thinking about what's next, and what else there is to do after that. No longer are “we” living an overly filled day and Life.
- We can now breathe fully in an easy, coordinated way with physical/mental activities, as contrasted with shortening our breath to do as much as possible in the least amount of time.
- Our chi reprogramming is giving our body all the strength it needs.
- Relaxation is different now. Everything is different in our DCIO reality.
- On Stage Two, we have a completely different relationship now with others—a divine Love one at the roots of being, where no protections are needed, internally or externally. This comes from a perspective that basic portions of each of us are in a divine Love dimension of Oneness, and that's where my/our focused attention and connections are now.
In contrast to some Hindu/yogic beliefs, I choose to not energize a dualistic way of thinking that includes maya and illusion. I think all the matrixes that result from the collective agreements about which patterns to culturally energize are “real”—such as those we officially use in the Western world—in the sense that we each have real experiences. But … I also think our cultural patterns are the software that can be changed so we then have other “real” experiences.
What I've experienced is that it takes some purposeful and consistent practice to bring about lasting psychic changes, but there's always an active feedback system in terms of my own experiences and reactions to what others do, where I can benchmark my progress. Then beyond that, I believe each of us can easily and Lovingly feed others at the roots of their Being with the inner pictures we fuel about who/what each of us is.
Personally, I really like energizing a pattern where everything is created with and basically filled with divine Love—and is “alive” with a version of conscious awareness. I also like seeing universal life energy, chi, as a flow of divine Love.
I/we think our worldview can be of comfort and empowerment for others in the potentially turbulent times ahead. In the New Testament, Luke 17:21, Jesus says, “behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” I think this means that each of us humans in all global cultures are more than we've been programmed to think we are. So that's the picture I/we have been imaginatively energizing for our invisible share of the global conversation for a while now, along with asking for divine guidance and assistance for us all in highest good terms.
One day with easy joy and a lot of satisfaction, we recognized that what we energized in an earlier “spacious present” time frame in December 2006 was currently manifesting: I/we are creating a different reality and self-chosen matrix within it, while writing about the results.
During the new natural world year in 2008 Jim continued with his own psychic reconstruction, removing more of the domination patterns and others he had culturally learned to use as a human being with a male body. In April he wrote:
“J & J All Over Again
Still based in Divine Love.
This time it's quite different.
No longer based in DCBA patterns
with fundamental variations.
Instead searching for Essential I
Divine Love patterning of another kind.
What is this new way comprised of?
Infinite kindness.
Joint and Individual Co-creativity.
Unconditional Love and Support.
Endless Trust.
Ease and Satisfaction.
Belief in Each Other.
Belief in Divine Love Creativity.
Belief in the Essence of All Being.
When does this take effect?
Now.”
Jim and I/we have been continuing to focus upon being even more directly and emotionally involved with one another, each of us having a wide enough framework so that the growth and development of the other one is as important as our own. Dyadically, we've been co-crafting a much more even playing field, as each of us plays with our personal Life and our relationship.
In June, Jim and “we” watched some televised portions of the U.S. Open golf event at Torrey Pines, San Diego, CA. I saw it as a vivid example of the DCBA reality where cultural designs of emotional highs and lows and ups and downs (bands BA) were amidst the gorgeous natural world there (bands DC)—of sea, surf, sand, cliffs, canyons, sky, and seabirds. The locale had some personal interest for both of us. I lived in the area for a few months in 1955 and early 1956. And the first time Jim came to southern California for a business meeting in February 1970, together with two of his associates who were familiar with the environs, they rented a car and drove down the coast where they played a round of golf at Torrey Pines. (In May 1970, while attending another business meeting in Palm Springs, CA, Jim and I met one afternoon pool-side.)
There are times when I-as-conscious-awareness inwardly turn my attention to my body organism, I see it smiling all over, and other times it is joyously singing.
One design I/we really enjoy using in appropriate circumstances is the yogic greeting and parting: Namasté. For me it means honoring the divine within us all.
I like the image of one's attention being like a flashlight beam one uses to focus light in a specific direction.
Over and over again when I/we had been continuing to keep up enough to be current with concentric circles of events, we were hearing, reading, and watching stories about the treatment of some of our country's returning military personnel from Iraq and Afghanistan … and I/we have been deeply affected. As I see it, there are many physical, emotional, mental, and psychic wounds these Americans who have been fighting for our country are afflicted with that require our national wholehearted compassion and direct help. Here's another area where I think we need a type of Marshall Plan—an overall comprehensive program for rehabilitation that is effective.
When I/we were recovering from our right hand and wrist injury, which had temporarily disabled our writing and much of our “doing” apparatus, I often thought about what it was like for those who have lost limbs and are incapacitated in other ways, where they're not able to function as they could before.
Another area that continues to expand as a central focus for attention the more I/we learn about current events, is the economic and political power Russia has attained in just ten years, when in 1998 it was well-nigh bankrupt. Currently I/we have been hearing a few knowledgeable people here in the United States say we are well-nigh bankrupt or close to it now in our country.
One night during a process of flowing back and forth between dreaming and being awake, further clarifications emerged about some of the basics I've been seeking.
When I say “I am hungry,” as an Essential I/spirit-being I am in an experiencer mode with our physical body organism, translating the language of the body, speaking for “us,” and providing motivations to do something about the situation. When I say “I am happy,” as a combined entity we can pause and fully savor the emotional state. In other words, in relationship with my composite body organism, in the examples just cited I have been using some of my abilities as an Essential I/spirit-being: experiencing, evaluating, and motivating.
Nonetheless, at the same time, the essence of myself as an Essential I, without using any of my potential abilities, is also part of every situation in whatever matrix or reality I am involved with. Beyond involvement, I know I AM, even if totally immersed in the stillness of Oneness prior to choosing any reality to experience.
What is called “the ego” was the subject of dreams and awaking one night in mid-June. Getting rid of it is a theme I hear over and over as I read and listen to those who could be classified as being aware, of being in an awakened stream of consciousness. Reviewing the situation, I/we continue to see the ego as the portion of each of us spirit-being humans that interfaces with our culture and its members. I think what is commonly called the ego is the individual DCBA mixture of cultural programs one activates to be a member of one's society, as she or he uses a version of the agreed-upon customs, thought processes, emotions, and activities designated for its gender.
One of the ways my body organism is communicating in answer to questions I ask it, is by using our imaginative capabilities to show me-as-a-spirit-being fluid inner pictures. These imagination capabilities are a two-way street, to be used by us both.
By standing back while bringing my entire life freshly to the present, I've been able to see a mixture of central themes I’ve emphasized: the basics, clarity, experiences with various forms of Love in many matrixes, relationships, communication, going beyond and liberation, compassion, Understandings, empowerment and potency. Together, they have resulted in a lifetime of ongoing expansions and developments.
Recently I/we were inwardly directed to explore What is Love? as a question and as a Zen koan to circumvent automatic cultural belief structures. The results have been and are interesting because a mixture of thoughts emerged to conscious awareness that are both globally cultural—and beyond those containers. One application out of the mix is that I am choosing to fuel designs where patterns of sacrifice, suffering, and pain are not necessary, now seeing them as part of my/our Stage One contrasts.
During the time my hand/wrist were healing, into our dyadic bank account Jim made daily deposits of Love with his kindness, meal-making, and other joint life activities, along with his Appreciation of me and my emphases.
My current sense is that as individual Essential I/spirit-beings we actually create and co-create the contents of Love, using our natural abilities in relationship with our body organisms and with others' creativity. That is, we each give form to Love's basic flow.
Later this year—November 4th, 2008—we who vote here in the United States will elect a new president, vice president, and many other representatives to various offices. The two men who more than likely will be nominated as presidential candidates at their forthcoming conventions this summer are Republican John McCain and Democrat Barach Obama. In November, both Jim and I will be voting a total Democratic ticket because we believe at the present time they will take the country in different and possibly more desirable directions.
More news from here in the United States. In late July 2008, we continue to have troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, an involvement that has been costly in terms of lives and money spent. The perspectives I wrote about in early 2007 in “Spring Is Coming, I Trust,” regarding what has been and is happening in the U.S. economically, have expanded recently with the price of gasoline over $4.00 a gallon, rising food costs, many people in serious financial trouble with their home mortgages, and a banking crisis that seems to go beyond a “correction,” illustrating that there are systemic economic problems in the land of our J & J births. In addition, there continue to be more extreme weather events—heat waves, drought, more forest fires, heavier rains, and larger floods.
After I/we decided to write a small third manuscript section, we began to pay closer attention again to who is saying what and what was being said.
From NPR's Fresh Air radio program, July 15, 2008, I/we listened to Terry Gross interview Jane Mayer, author of a new book, The Dark Side, (subtitled on the cover “the inside story of how the war on terror turned into a war on American ideals”). It filled in more background information about Vice President Dick Cheney‘s past and his role in the Bush Administration, especially after 9/11. Mayer was described as being an investigative journalist, part of The New Yorker‘s Washington staff since 1995. I Appreciated hearing her say she tried to Understand them (those she was writing about). Then I read the associated materials on Fresh Air‘s web site from the book‘s Chapter 1, titled “Panic.”
On July 25 Jane Mayer was also interviewed on PBS' Bill Moyers Journal. Moyers was focusing on Congressional hearings from the previous week about torture. I/we thought his interview with Mayer regarding the subject was compelling, and I highly recommend reading the whole online transcript from that week.
Jane Mayer‘s recent publication is part of many investigative and insider books that have been continuing to emerge, such as Scott McClellan‘s, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception. He was former press secretary for the George W. Bush White House for nearly three years, leaving that position in 2006. I had also heard him interviewed previously on Fresh Air and had read some of Fresh Air's associated website materials.
Together, in addition to daily news reports, these writings are giving all of us more “food for thought” now about who we-the-people are choosing to be as the United States of America, that is, which United States? Also, there are many who contend that some of the Bush Administration‘s decisions have violated the U.S. Constitution, and there are those who are saying specific members have committed international war crimes. In a vaster dimension, as I/we Understand how it all works, the individual and collective decisions we humans make nationally and globally will naturally determine which United States, and which human species.
On NPR, July 21, 2008, Diane Rehm had a conversation with three knowledgeable people about former Vice President and Nobel Prize winner Al Gore's recent proposal to end reliance on carbon-based fuels, and to derive all domestic electricity from clean sources within ten years. I heard one of the participants, Cathy Zoi, the CEO of Alliance for Climate Protection, a group founded by Gore to campaign for action on climate change, say that his challenge came at this time because global warming results were happening more rapidly now than had been forecast earlier. She talked about his emphasis of having the right (governmental) policies in place—the political will and leadership to do this—where the money would primarily come from private investments.
As I listened to the Rehm program I heard that Gore estimates it will cost between $1.5 to $3 trillion to reach the clean energy goal he has proposed.
Another discussion participant expanded the picture by talking about China and India‘s energy needs.
My overall reaction to what I heard was to see creativity-in-action, where from within his worldview Al Gore is doing the best he can to present a proposal to stir up the public will to do something about what he believes is a looming crisis regarding global warming, to provide more national security for the United States, and to open up our society‘s entrepreneurial abilities and opportunities even wider.
In natural world time, near the end of July 2008, the blooming lilies all around this area were glorious! Immersed in the season as we were, Jim and I/we were savoring the opportunities to eat all three meals at the round table on our covered deck, surrounded by the green leaves of nearby mature trees and the wondrous shade garden plants. One day a hummingbird was repeatedly drinking nectar from hosta blossoms. For us, it was like the lyrics of a song from bygone years, “There's nowhere else on Earth that I would rather be.”
One probability among many I/we are aware of as we look to the future is that an Age of Individual Creativity may be emerging, where people realize and actualize more of their basic potential as contrasted with buying into an already existing system, usually in either/or and oppositional ways. And so I/we are both proposing and energizing a process of “going and being beyond,” where as a species we now have the opportunities to wisely look back on all our past human history/herstory—and make different choices.
A few years ago I experienced a dream where there were sticky webs at the bottom of the picture being shown to me, made up of the entanglements spirit-being people were trapped within. The webs were a result of current-day cultural designs of identity, roles, and expectations. Then above all that was an area where everyone was larger and completely free … they were glowing in a locale of illumination (illuminate: to give light to; light up; make clear). During the dream I was being strongly advised to figure out how to not energize my portion of mutual entrapments, and then how to consistently Be in the freer and easier reality. I titled the dream, “Beyond Sticky Webs.” Today, I/we see the dream as a pictorial map and energy pathway for “New Songs, New Stories.”
After the dream, I used the inner picture of sticky webs and a free area above it as stepping stones. What I discovered in the process is that as an Essential I/spirit-being, “I” can become caught in my own designs, such as mine about different realities, my energization of a divine Love DCIO reality, and my personal matrix within it. So, to my inner picture I have added a middle section, denoting those further pattern entrapments one can become caught within after getting out of cultural sticky webs.
All this connected to another large-scale dream from the later 1970s I titled, “The Masquerade Ball.” In it I was being shown how each of us as the essence of ourselves puts on a set of designs like clothes that we then use in this basic reality system for experiences. In the dream everyone took off their masks and clothes, to be the naked selves we basically are as essence. As I Understand it now, from that without-any-patterns position, I think one can truly Be in the illuminated and free dimension shown at the top of the sticky-web picture. Hence, this is a process I/we are playing with now.
Around noon today—8/2/08—Jim and I/we discovered a smallish sunflower blooming in the garden at the back of the house, as a volunteer to what had already been planted there. It glowed! When I/we turned our attention to it and inwardly listened, we felt it expressing the plant world's appreciation for what Jim and I/we are Being/Doing. Then, when Jim prints the photograph of it that he took, it will sit on the small easel atop the dresser in our J & J bedroom, in front of the mixed media picture I painted in 2006—of our new imaginary home where really big dreams can manifest.
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