Expanding and Expansions
On March 21, 2007, I/we began another natural world year that would again move us through four seasons. Its theme was simply “Beyond.”
In later June 2007 when “we” were rechecking resource materials and editing our Within the River of Love manuscript (me as a spirit-being and my physical body organism), one morning after coming in from getting the newspaper we tripped on the rug in the entryway, resulting in some walking difficulties. Almost instantly when the event occurred, I knew my body in its vaster wisdom had initiated the situation, and when I tuned into it I heard it say this was the time when Jim and I could each take care of much more of what he and I needed to do as encultured spirit-beings.
As our body recovered, Jim took over most of my portion of his and my joint household activities. It was wonderful! I/we were able to have an almost steady flow of uninterrupted time, to be able to explore more widely and deeply some of the areas that had been opened up in our previous natural world year, moving more fully into that which attracted us.
Then when Jim evaluated the situation, he gave us a marvelous gift. He offered to take over our share of food purchasing, dinner preparation and their clean-up activities, along with watering indoor plants weekly, while “we” finished the manuscript to our satisfaction. For our part, we would continue to change linens, wash and iron weekly, and make our own breakfasts and lunches. And since the upstairs living areas were ready for a big-time cleaning again, Jim also did that over the next few weeks.
As I/we basked in the opportunities we had, overall it stretched out to be about three months—with our limitless appreciation to Jim. During that time, on occasion we checked with him to see if this was continuing to work for him, and he affirmed it was. I think he was also using it as a series of opportunities in various ways, as I/we were doing. And so the manuscript was completed to our satisfaction in later September 2007, and we returned to being full partners with Jim regarding joint living activities.
After that, over the next few weeks I as a spirit-being again turned most decision-making over to my body organism. Hence, I “listened” to it frequently. One day in later October 2007 I heard it say it wanted to write its own story, and when I asked it if this is where it had been heading, it said a very enthusiastic, “Yes! I want to explore and write my own story as an intelligent, wondrous being in my own right. And I want to have the time and space to play and to find out what I can do when I‘m not hampered with culturally limiting patterns and am not being harnessed into Jacquie and Jim‘s agendas as spirit-beings. Surely I choose to be cooperative with them, but not being driven to achieve their goals … I see this as a fabulous opportunity.”
The title of its manuscript was and is My Story and Life As a Body Organism, and I as a spirit-being stood back most of the time—open, easy, and available to hear and assist in word-processing what it wanted to say, as it wrote about events from its perspective. (It wrote almost daily.)
Going back in time to early 1999 when I decided to turn the whole procedure upside down from a laborious ascent that had been spiritually prescribed as a way of liberation, “we”—me and my body organism—had also added a much easier process of coming from the inside out, as contrasted with going from the outside to discover our essence inside. And of course as I understand it now, me and my body organism have always been a unit … I just needed to relate with it through a different set of beliefs.
What was happening with my/our completed manuscript in later 2007? Nothing tangible. Whenever I thought about doing something with it like contacting a publisher or doing an online publication, there was absolutely no affirmations such as I use with which to activate decisions. In fact, I was getting some pretty clear signals that this was definitely not the time to launch it.
So, my body had multiple opportunities to do what it wanted to do, which in some ways was to be clearly heard and Understood for its reality. What I discovered is that it sees things in a much simpler and more direct way than I-as-a-spirit-being do. It doesn't complicate Life. It felt that over the years, Jim and I as spirit-beings had become entwined in our relationship in some ways that were not healthy for it … and it wanted me to disentangle my portion of those designs and successfully remove the reasons they were there in the first place. (Which I did over time.)
In other words there were good reasons to not add in any publication probabilities—other things needed attending to. One of my discoveries as a spirit-being is that portions of my Love for Jim had translated in ways where I limited some of my originations and responses; oftentimes I hadn't wanted to energize potential materials he could become upset about. Additionally, I had also been trying to balance out some energies with him I thought would help overall, and I heard from my body that this had been part of some of its imbalance symptoms. It took me awhile to unravel all of that. Yes, Jim and my/our relationship has been very complex!
Basically speaking I had liked being part of a dyad, but obviously Jim and I had both come to the place in our Lives where we each needed to be able to move more freely in our self-chosen directions. That had been the central issue around which our remaining conflicts had revolved. After Jim and I published God's River of Love in later 2003, he had been very ambivalent about my further studies and writings, hoping that I would choose to go in other directions. On the one hand he had wanted me to fill out my Life in ways that are meaningful to me as he was doing with his Life, and on the other hand he really liked our quiet, easy reality. He was quite concerned about what would happen if I did find a publisher for my recent manuscript.
Over time Jim and I came to the conclusion that if we couldn't put together a dyadic Life that worked really well for both of us, without the intermittent conflicts that felt like repeated and fruitless same-olds, it would be best that we live apart. Somehow that mutual perspective provided a framework that worked well, and resolvements began to more easily manifest. Also, we each energized much more divine Trust.
By later January 2008, my mental/emotional/imaginative body had emerged, where it too had its own voice. I was inwardly seeing it as an active partner with my physical body, side by side, holding hands. One day my mental/emotional/imaginative body was protesting something we had read recently about controlling the mind, like an irresponsible child, letting it know who's boss. On January 26, 2008 it wrote, “It's no wonder minds and emotions kick up their heels in rebellion! Getting out from under all of this smothering of my natural propensities by cultural designs, I want to be acknowledged for the great job I've done with learning and using the cultural patterns, and for my continuous attempts to use healthy thoughts and emotions. Yes, I am basically designed to Be Healthy and Intelligent!”
On February 11, 2008, I-as-a-spirit-being wrote, “And so, the composite body organism—mental/emotional/imaginative/spiritual/physical—is telling me it is time for ‘us’ together to focus on a goal it chooses, with a timetable it also chooses. As I sit here at the computer, I pause and inwardly ask the question of this internal health system, what it is selecting? It answers: ‘We are choosing to Be in a process of Being and Becoming in which we are fully healthy and unfold from there—vital, vibrant, physically strong, agile, balanced, steady, and beautiful. In a vaster sense, since all the cultural limitations are now imaginatively dissolved in the spacious present, with Gratitude and Love for what we all have experienced and learned, we want to find out what we can Be and Do in our natural, basic state.’”
By early March, Jim and I as spirit-beings had removed obvious energy entanglements we had with one another that had been useful and significant connections from our lives together in the past, and were no longer needed. My perspective now is that when I met Jim in 1970, I plummeted directly into an experiential level of divine Love that continued to consciously be with me throughout our years together. I have realized that through the process, all of this has returned me to my basic identity as an Essential I/spirit-being and to the Source of all life, which for me/us is divine Love. And, at the same time how lovely it was and is to be able to share my/our Life and Love with a fellow traveler.
When I read that the poet Rumi knew deep in his heart that the Love he was experiencing with his beloved friend, Shams of Tabriz, was leading him back to the deepest level of himself and to his own intimate connection with the divine, I said, “Of course.” The interpretation and translation I was reading said that after Shams had disappeared, Rumi was able to teach with conviction, “There is no Love greater than Love with no object. For then you, yourself, have become Love itself.” It is said Rumi realized that all of existence is the creation of Love, and the purpose of that Love is to reveal itself in the full magnitude of its beauty and generosity.
For the next new natural world year that began March 20, 2008, I/we chose the theme of “Being in Beyond.” With the advent of the new sun-cycle, our body organism completed its manuscript—there were eighty-eight computer pages, and “we” were delighted when we read the whole thing! By that time, we had come back together as a multidimensional composite Being: an Essential I/spirit-being with a mental, emotional, imaginative, spiritual, physical body organism in this basic system of reality and a vaster divinity (what we've termed bands DC). And of course when appropriate we could strand out one or another aspect of our composite.
Our focus for the cultural year of 2008 was to easily blend the invisible and visible.
After a studious winter season, both Jim and I decided to primarily play from May through the forthcoming seasons. When our daily newspaper subscription came up for renewal, we let it go. Instead, we'd make natural world events here at Harmony Hill even more of our daily foreground. And lo-and-behold, a Mallard duck couple began visiting our small pond almost daily, to swim and eat some grain we threw on the hillside for the birds and night visitors.
With the removal of large amounts of my attention from the ongoing cultural dramas (bands BA), as a composite Being I experienced a lot of open and empty internal space. My perspective is that we spirit-humans have to add content to the basic reality with our pattern constructions, and so I freshly energized what I described earlier as a DCIO reality and personal matrix to immerse myself in daily and frequently. In other words, I was programming myself the way I think happens in one's infancy and subsequent years.
I expressed what I was doing to myself and Jim as having played roles in my life on Stage One—the DCBA reality—and now with Gratitude for all I had learned and for fellow players, as a composite Being I was in a process of energizing and experiencing another reality that I was calling Stage Two.
By that time I had also Understood that in addition to my identity as an Essential I to be the essence of myself in whatever matrix and environment I was amidst, I knew myself as invisible awarized energy combined with spirit-beingness, that moves around from being a chooser/selector, energizer, co-creator, experiencer, observer, evaluator, chooser/selector, etc.—sometimes all at the same time, and sometimes in one primary position or another … amongst and in relationship with the basic Earth system that itself is amongst a divine environment of Love and well-being for all.
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